by Richard W. Millar, Jr.

My wife and I did not meet on a dating website. They didn’t have dating websites in those days. They didn’t even have “sites.” Al Gore had not yet invented the internet. In fact, color television barely existed.

You might say, however, that we did have an arranged introduction. At least, I arranged it.

I had seen this very attractive girl on campus and wished to meet her. In line with the then prevailing etiquette, it was considered brash or gauche for a young man to simply walk up to a young woman and introduce himself, and I didn’t want my first overture to be so blemished. But, I was, at least temporarily, in luck—I had a friend, Dan Bryant, who knew her and was happy to introduce us.

It was ultimately a success as we have now been married nearly sixty years. It was not immediate, however, as her level of interest was a lot lower than mine.

So, you will have to forgive me if I say that I don’t understand dating sites even though I do understand bars. At least in a bar, liquid solace for rejection is plentiful and quickly available. It is not so easy to drown your sorrows on the internet.

It, also, has never occurred to me to use a dating site to attack, rather than attract, the opposite sex, particularly if the opposite sex is opposing counsel. But, just because it has not occurred to me, does not mean it has not occurred to others.

Or at least one other.

As always, a case in point.

Drew Quitschau is a lawyer in Bloomington, Illinois, a town which, as best I recall, has never before been a column source. He was, until recently, a partner with a local firm.

I don’t know how many lawyers there are in Bloomington, but he had opposed the same lawyer at least seventeen times in McLean County. For reasons which will quickly become apparent, she came to be referred to as “Jane Doe.”

According to a complaint filed by the Illinois Attorney and Disciplinary Commission, Mr. Quitschau, using his firm’s computer (there’s a whole other lesson to be learned there, but again, I digress), created an online dating profile on Match.com in Jane Doe’s name. The profile included representations that she was separated from her husband, she smoked but was trying to quit, she regularly drank alcohol, she did not exercise but liked auto racing and motor cross, she had cats, and her “favorite hot spots are the grocery store, all restaurants, the Pizza Ranch, all buffets, and NASCAR.” He then, according to the complaint, obtained photos from her firm’s website and uploaded them to the Match.com profile.

A month or so later, Mrs. Doe became aware of the profile and sued Match.com to provide her with the IP address associated with “her” profile. She got it, and Comcast, the provider for Mr. Quitschau’s firm, gave written notice to the firm that its IP address was used to create the profile.

Mr. Quitschau allegedly initially denied creating the profile, but the firm hired a forensic computer expert who discovered that Mr. Quitshau, or at least his computer, was the culprit. He then admitted it and was immediately fired.

It turned out that besides the Match.com profile, he registered her as a member of, and I am not making this up, “Pig International,” which sends out daily emails about “pork production.” He also registered her with something called “Obesity Action Coalition” so she would receive daily emails from it as well as a yearly subscription to Your Weight Matters magazine. He also created online registrations with Diabetic Living and Auto Trader, and opened a Facebook account under the nom de les réseaux sociaux John Kollengrade “for the sole purpose of posting a negative review of her professional ability.” And, if all that wasn’t enough, he posted false reviews of her on the Martindale.com and Lawyers.com websites.

What all this gained him was a five-count complaint with the disciplinary folks. When all is said and done, I think it can be said that, with Jane Doe,

He met his match.

Richard W. Millar, Jr. is Of Counsel with the firm of Friedman Stroffe & Gerard in Irvine. He can be reached at rmillar@fsglawyers.com.