Thursday, October 30, 2014
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October 2014 - Hammerlocks, Full Nelsons, and Contractual Obligations: Difficult to Escape From

Wrestling and roller derby ... you know you love it! Read More..

September 2014 - Word Power, European Style

Beds agrees to monitor European megabrothel law . . . as a public service, of course.    Read More..

August 2014 - Deciding Between Comfort Animals and Comfort Food

Beds grapples with where to seat a pig on a plane. Read More..

July 2014 - The Widow of a Danube Steamboat Company Captain

Don’t even start this one without a dictionary handy. Read More..

June 2014 - Why Does Anybody Bother to Write Fiction?

Beds is trolling through the unpublished cases again. Read More..

May 2014 - Technopeasantry

Beds explores modern witchcraft. Read More..

April 2014 - Airplane! Three: Another Sequel

Beds is having trouble with his shoes again. Read More..

March 2014 - The Bridge

Beds gets serious about how to live. Read More..

February 2014 - Taking a Crack at Electoral Reform

It doesn’t take a brain surgeon to fix our political system. Read More..

January 2014 - The Parable of Stochastic Calculus

Beds revises Shakespeare in keeping with universal truths.

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December 2013 - Interactive Urinal Cakes

Beds discusses the crime-fighting effects of hearing voices while urinating.

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November 2013 - Non-Leapin’ Lizards

If they can’t leap, can they really be lizards, Daddy Warbucks?

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October 2013 - Getting a Get: Easier Than Ungetting the Get You Got

Beds examines Israeli divorce law.

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September 2013 - USDA 43-C-0269

This whole pulling-a-rabbit-out-of-a-hat thing is tougher than it looks.

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August 2013 - Those Shoes

They say you don’t know a justice till you’ve walked a mile in his Skechers.

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July 2013 - Me and the Porn Star

Why should we bother telling you what it’s about? With a title like that, you know you’re going to read it.

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June 2013 - A Tough Room for Comedy

It’s hard to do comedy in a world that satirizes itself.

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May 2013 - Bottomry: The Opposite of Topiary

 Appellate ace assiduously adumbrates admiralty arcana.

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April 2013 - Cabbages, Kings, and Pink Bollworms

So you think you want to be on the Court of Appeal, do you?

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March 2013 - The Curse of the Carbonic Reserves

Justice Bedsworth—and his mother—delve into intellectual property law.

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February 2013 - Crime Does Pay

Austrian justice and Zimbabwean currency—the world is full of mysteries.

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January 2013 - The Parable of the Wolves and Fishes

Beds discusses endangered—and dead—animals.

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December 2012 - Dog Days in New Mexico

Beds sympathizes with a canine who has the responsibility of at least one human.

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November 2012 - God Bless the City Council

Beds chooses to save local officials and throw Congress overboard.

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October 2012 - A Lesson from Walt Kelly and Sun Tzu (CLE from One of the People Grading Your Papers)

Beds validates your grammar teacher.

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September 2012 - Schooled by the NCAA

Beavers, tigers, and rookies, oh my! Prosecutorial discretion in another type of court.

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August 2012 - Cultural Literacy for Judges

Bring this knowledge to the next OCBA function to amaze your colleagues!

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July 2012 - Hobgoblins of a Judicial Kind

What do Ben Dover and Dewey, Cheatem & Howe have to do with Beds’ column?

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June 2012 - A Trademark for Rev. Spooner

Down under, they enjoy a special brand of bar snacks with their VB.

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May 2012 - “Dispatches From Lesotho”: The Good Justice Examines Urban—Well, Kind Of Urban—Crime

Beds exposes the naked truth about Laguna Beach.

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April 2012 - Words with Friends (Pakistani Version)

Words with Friends (Pakistani Version)

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March 2012 - An Unprimed Pump

Poor Beds is weighed down by the knowledge of what 240 million Medicare dollars can buy.

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February 2012 - Weaponized Snow Cones

Beds and Jon Stewart reach similar conclusions about snow cones.

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January 2012 - Fernando Strunk’s Fearless Gypsy Predictions for 2012

Beds has found a guest columnist. Read More..

December 2011 - Jarndyce Heirs Finally Inherit

Beds has come upon a case that would make Dickens proud.

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November 2011 - Dear Friends and Gentle Hearts

Beds has written a “Pay it Forward” for the legal profession.

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October 2011 - David George Sills (March 21, 1938–August 23, 2011)

Tribute to a great person and judge . . .

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September 2011 - Eat, Drink, and Hire Lawyers

Beds finds the latest addition to the professional sports scene a little hard to swallow.

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August 2011 - Jabberwocky, Part Deux

“The closer I get to retirement, the more I worry about the economy.”

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July 2011 - Zero Plus Zero Equals Trouble

Remedial math: 0+0 = #@!!?%

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June 2011 - A New Kind of Custody Battle

Are the Chinese ahead of us or behind us on this one?

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May 2011 - Dog Bites Man Bites Broadcasting Career

Still more stuff that mystifies Beds.

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April 2011 - Give Me Your Tired, Your Poor, Your Typos . . .

Beds offers a little CLE on the importance of proofreading.

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March 2011 - Bunting for Boilerplate

Like everything else in the world of sports, contract negotiation is divorced from reality.

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February 2011 - Getting Up

This one’s not about laughter.

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January 2011 - Electoral Processpool

Twelve more years of Beds—and you thought Groundhog Day was a raw deal!

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December 2010 - “Take Me Out To The Pre-Trial”

Beds talks about his favorite game . . . and baseball.

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November 2010 - Accursed Congress

Beds’ take on Congress makes Will Rogers sound like their best friend.

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October 2010 - Dopes and Robbers

It’s time for more stupid human tricks.

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September 2010 - The Same Only Different

Extramarital psychiatric “care . . . .”

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August 2010 - War Of The Words

Use of language these days is an abominanity. . . .

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July 2010 - The Power and the Glory

Beds ruminates on the power behind the throne. . . .

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June 2010 - Send in the Clowns

“Starring Kelly McCourt in the role of Beds’ Wife.”

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May 2010 - Carpentry Without Tools

Appellate advocacy through the eyes of a casketmaker’s son . . .

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April 2010 - Cats, Frogs, and Naked Women

That title oughta be enough to get you to read Beds' column this month.

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Law Enforcement for the Soul... Center

Greetings from the Soul Center of the Universe. I’ve made my annual pilgrimage to the Soul Center of the Universe to offer homage to James Brown, Ray Charles, Aretha Franklin, et al.

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My Retirement

Well, it’s official. The retirement papers are filed, I’ve said goodbye to my colleagues, and turned in my ID card. I may come back on assignment sometime, but basically I’m retired.

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Fatheads
“Beds is tilting at the windmills of fatuity again”

My birthday falls the week before Thanksgiving every year. For most of my life that meant a lot of giving thanks in a very short time. But I’m reaching the age now at which the two events pretty much cancel each other out.

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Take Me Out To Divorce Court

“Beds is having a hard time letting go of the baseball season this year.”

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Cash and Marry

“Some little-known judicial history from the man who made it.”

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“Judge-Mental”

“Beds is considering a career in virtual reality.”

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