by Michael G. Yoder

The Orange County legal community recently lost one of its true leaders with the passing of former OCBA President Don Gray. I was fortunate and honored to be able to attend the funeral services for Don, which truly were a celebration of his life and legacy. And what a life it was. Don was raised in South Los Angeles, put himself through college at California State University, Los Angeles, and served in the Vietnam War, rising to the rank of captain and winning a Bronze Star. After obtaining his law degree from the University of California, Hastings College of Law, Don made his way to Orange County and eventually became Vice President and General Counsel of Toshiba America Information Systems for over 23 years. As he ascended the corporate ladder, Don even found time to spend three years as Director, Military Equal Opportunity Programs, at the Department of Defense, where he earned the Secretary of Defense Medal for Outstanding Public Service.

But Don was more than a dedicated public servant and a talented and capable lawyer. He was a committed husband and a dedicated father. He was a friend to many. And to anyone who ever spent time with Don, he was a human demonstration of how we should live our lives: passionately, and with a sense of humor. In all he did, Don was an amazing role model for all of us, far beyond the practice of law.

I recently read a collection of Don’s President’s Pages from 1999, when he served as OCBA President. I was taken aback, but hardly surprised, by the subjects he addressed, and the passion with which he addressed them. Don was an advocate for the support of all OCBA sponsored charities. Don was an advocate for the support of our judiciary. Don was an advocate for “getting connected” in the bar and our community as a whole. And Don was a passionate advocate for the need to develop future leaders of the bar.

Don’s imprint on the Orange County legal community will be lasting, and it has been significant. Even after his year as OCBA President, Don continued to serve on numerous committees and task forces for the OCBA, most recently our Leadership Task Force. And he continued to serve as a mentor and resource for many of our leaders. As former OCBA President Dean Zipser put it: “Don’s contributions to our Bar Association go far beyond what he did for the organization itself. Don was instrumental in mentoring and developing other leaders. He reached out to others to get them involved and to serve the OCBA. I am among so many who benefited from Don’s guidance and tutoring. He was a mentor and a friend – to me and to so many others.”

Don Gray is a man who has indeed left a legacy. A legacy of leadership. A legacy of compassion. A legacy of doing. At the funeral services for Don, the question was asked: “How will you be remembered?” It is a frightening question, but one that we should be asking ourselves every day. Don Gray probably never asked himself this question: he did not need to, for he lived his life in a way that provided a clear and compelling answer to the question.

For most of us, it will be a long, uphill climb to come anywhere near the pinnacle Don Gray achieved in his life. But I am hoping, as I write this column, that Don’s legacy will inspire all of us to speak out a little louder, to raise our hand and volunteer a little more often, to look for ways to mentor others a little more consistently, and to do so with a lot more laughter. Very few of us will ever master this thing called leadership as well as Don Gray did. But his life, and legacy, should inspire all of us to try. Let’s get to it.