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October 2017 - Carrying Coal to Newcastle

by Richard W. Millar, Jr.

I remember when I was a young person in school and being force-fed education against my lesser instincts, hearing the phrase, “Carry coal to Newcastle.” I didn’t understand it; I didn’t know where Newcastle was and coal (other than charcoal) was not part of my life. Besides, it was a British saying and the only things British I was interested in were MGs, Austin-Healeys, and Jaguars, and they didn’t run on coal.

Now that I am an “old” boy and my education (or my “edumacation” as my Dad would deliberately refer to it) has metastasized, I know that Newcastle was a coal-mining town so delivering coal to it was superfluous or pointless. By the time I learned that, however, the phrase had long since fallen into disuse.

It may, however, be time to revive it.

As always, a case in point; specifically a coal case.

First, a disclaimer. I have never heard of The Marshall County Coal Company or its apparently many related coal companies. I have never heard of Bob Murray, whom I gather runs these companies. I have never heard of John Oliver, who is stated to be a late-night British comedian. Nor do I know anything about something called Partially Important Productions, L.L.C. or a Charles Wilson. Indeed, I have often thought that if I were a judge, I would have a plaque on my bench that, under my name, would say “Neutrality through Ignorance,” but I digress.

Apparently, the defendants lampooned Mr. Murray in a (presumably late-night) television show focusing on coal. It included such tidbits as describing Mr. Murray as someone who “looks like a geriatric Dr. Evil,” and referred to Mr. Marshall’s denial of a story that he had claimed he operated his own mines because a squirrel told him he should. During the live taping, a staff member came out in a squirrel costume and told Mr. Marshall to “Eat shit, Bob!” That doesn’t do much for me, but maybe it sounds funnier with a British accent.

After being accosted by a large, though fake, squirrel, and otherwise insulted, Mr. Murray did what any red-blooded American with free time on his hands would do when something offends him: He sued for defamation. In Federal District Court. In West Virginia, presumably the American equivalent to Newcastle. In what would seem a not-too-thinly-disguised attempt to gillnet the local jury pool, the complaint allegedly alleged that one of the defendants (Time Warner, which I have heard of) was a “top-ten donor” to Hillary Clinton, and that Mrs. Clinton’s agenda was to “put a lotta [sic] coal miners and coal companies outta [sic] business.”

In other words, some coal companies sued a British comedian who performs satire on HBO and a cable company that supports a candidate that wants to put coal companies out of business, in the heart of coal country. The plaintiffs did not have to pay a jury consultant for that theory.

What Mr. Murray didn’t count on, and I confess I would not have counted on either, was the ACLU. The ACLU filed an amicus brief, which may or may not have been friendly for the court, that was decidedly unfriendly to Mr. Murray, or “Bob” as he was unaffectionately referred to.

Its lack of amicability started early: “This case is about Plaintiff Robert E. (“Bob”) Murray not liking a television program and somehow believing that is a legally actionable offense . . . . Apparently because Plaintiffs’ delicate sensibilities were offended, they clutched their pearls and filed suit.”

Noting that “you do not get to sue a media organization because you don’t like their coverage” and describing that as “apparently a difficult concept for Plaintiffs to grasp,” it mentioned some six or so similar cases brought by Mr. Murray that had already been dismissed by other courts, concluding, “[A]fter this long list of losses in Ohio, it appears that Bob Murray has now decided to try his luck abusing West Virginia’s court system.”

One of the brief’s headings was: “Anyone Can Legally Say ‘Eat Shit, Bob!’” Another said, in part: “You Can’t Sue People for Being Mean to You, Bob.” Still another said: “You Can’t Get a Court Order Telling the Press How to Cover Stories, Bob.”

Under “other authorities” in the “Table of Authorities,” the ACLU cited a clip of the film that portrays Dr.Evil titled, and I am not making this up, “Pierre Pavia, Dr. Evil in 1 Million Dollars, YouTube, (Jul. 11, 2008).” People are citing YouTube in Federal Court? I missed that MCLE program. What’s next, Tinder?

Well it is too early to know how all this will come out, but I think:

Someone is carrying coal to Newcastle.

Richard W. Millar, Jr. is Of Counsel with the firm of Friedman Stroffe & Gerard in Irvine. He can be reached at rmillar@fsglawyers.com.

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